BLOGGING SURVIVAL GUIDE

05 August 2016

It is no secret that blogging takes up an abundance of time. From taking photos, to editing photos, to planning posts, to formatting a post, to writing a post, to staring at a blank page because you have no idea what to write - all in all, blogging morphs from a passion and a hobby to a chore with unapologetic speed.  Yet the internet is stuffed in every nook and cranny with blogs that are still surviving, still dragging their little feet through the bog of time to remain alive. If you don't have a blog but are thinking of starting one you may feel daunted, perturbed; worried about taking the leap, but never fear, grandma hawwa has your back. 
[grandma? you ask with a smirk and an eyebrow raise - yes. i'm 18. an adult, an old woman. you want proof of how old i am? just take a look at my to-do list, i'm adulting hard: provisional license? setting up a bank account? i could apply for them with my eyes closed---]
YOU WILL NEED:
1. SUSTENANCE: blogging is hard work my friends, and you need all the energy you can muster to type those words onto that blank screen. it's tiring and exhausting to repeatedly press each letter on a keyboard with a single finger for hours on end. your eyes will ache with fatigue after staring robotically at a shining rectangle of bright white light for hundreds of minutes. does a car work without petrol? [yes, you smart-arsed people will say, some cars are electrical.] no, most cars don't. so why would your body function without food? go and eat.
2. A DISTRACTION: [a book will do.] while blogging is rewarding and lets your creativity run in leaps and bounds around your brain, maintaining a long attention span is near impossible. to remain glued to your keyboard for longer than half an hour at any one time would be a feat of magic/fluke, thus it's always important to have on hand an alternative activity for those minutes that your mind goes wondering - just make sure this doesn't capture you completely and divert your efforts into different endeavours.
3. A PHONE: perhaps one distraction isn't enough, you may be a complex person, you may want to switch things up a bit. well, how about a phone? it may be a smaller screen than the one you just left but that's an inconsequential fact when you dwell on what this small piece of technology is capable of: snapchat your boredom; message a friend; prove to the world that you are a proud creative hard at work by shouting about it on instagram. it'll help your ego, make you feel validated. it's a win-win situation - just not for your eyes.
4. A TO-DO LIST: planning your posts may seem like a lot of effort [it is, you have to force your brain to function at a high level for a short-period of time as you brainstorm] but hey - it's worth it. i make to-do lists for everything, mainly for the satisfaction i receive when i cross something off the list and finally reach the end of it each day [ideally, does it ever happen? very rarely]. there is nothing worse than having a wonderful idea for a post, writing it, and then realising you have no photos for it - or vice versa. plan everything out. alternatively, you could use your to-do list to write down what you are going to do after your post is done - slightly counterproductive but if that's what you want to do i respect your decision. everyone has free will and therefore the right to write a to-do list consisting of: sleep/eat/read: a to-do list for the things you're going to do as a reward after you've completed the activities you actually need to do but are not on your to-do list. groundbreaking.
5. A CAMERA:it doesn't have to be snazzy, it could be your phone, it could be the worst point-and-shoot you have ever seen in your life that refuses to switch on 80% of the time and doesn't focus properly and -- [no, why would you say that? i'm not bitter at all? *caresses freshly bought, admittedly second hand but still beautiful, DSLR*]. half the time i am convinced that people only read my blog to look at the photos, and then leave [ehem, follow my instagram to see more photos if you haven't already] - stunning photos are therefore the best way to capture your reader's attention. and even if you don't have anything at all to take photos of, the internet is there to help: use gifs/reaction pictures to bulk up your post and make it more visually appealing, they're both entertaining and readily available on google.
have i missed anything out? did this help? i hope so - it took a heck of a long time to write and i didn't do any of the things i just told you to do. my eyes are burning, my fingers may fall of any second. oh, the sacrifices i make. 
DISCLAIMER: THIS POST IS FULL OF SARCASM AND WITTY HUMOUR, IF YOU DON'T GET IT THEN I'M SORRY YOU'RE NOT COOL ENOUGH. MAYBE NEXT TIME?

15 comments:

  1. SO MUCH GOOD ADVICE HERE THO OMG. I think snacks are like 100% the answer to running a successful blog. I also like to plan. I like to plan to plan another day. #winning

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    1. THANKS but um, you don't need any advice, you're the queen of blogging - actually i'm pretty sure you're the self-proclaimed ruler of the blogosphere..snacks are 100% the answer to almost everything :)

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  2. I'm trying really hard to be more blog-organised so that in the week I don't 'have' to do writing or planning after work. So far it's been going quite good :)

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    1. I hope it carries on going well! i love being organised and planning and scheduling things, it's so satisfying ahah

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  3. I love this advice. It's accurate and very true. I really should keep a more accurate to do list and learn to stick to a schedule. But I don't and I can't. But I reckon if I did do these things I would be way better at blogging and wouldn't constantly by hiding myself away for an evening as I do some catch up.

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    1. Thank you Becky! I keep lots and lots of to-do lists but rarely stick to them religiously..something always distracts me. There's nothing wrong with hiding away for an evening to blog though! (unless it's a stressful type of hiding away..) :O

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  4. Food, of course! All the food is imperative, otherwise none of us could survive at this blogging game. Truly, it is a wonder that we bloggers haven't brought the world to famine already, no? ;) xx

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    1. Hahah food is number one on the list, because it's clearly the most important. It's absolutely extraordinary Topaz ;)

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  5. Snacks are definitely the key to a great blog post. Snacks and To-Do Lists. Both of which, coincidentally, are beside me right now.

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    1. ooh nice, and yep, definitely. food all the way.

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  6. I totally hear you on the granny thing - I just turned nineteen. Bells tolled. Crows cawed. The Grim Reaper himself lurked behind me as I (tried) to act normal on the day of mourning that was my birthday.
    (I'll stop being dramatic now, I promise.)
    Bloggers DEFINITELY need food. A family sized bar of chocolate is usually enough. And I need to buy a camera. I've been using my phone, but I think the USB on it must be broken because I can't always get it to connect to my computer. :(

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    1. OH MY GOSH SOMEONE GET THIS GIRL A WALKING STICK. Hahaha, eVERYONE needs food, but yes, bloggers especially. and readers - i personally much much prefer reading and eating at the same time..ah no! my previous phone and my current phone but have absolutely horrible cameras so i could never had used mine for blogging! :O

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  7. Love how you put food first!
    Definitely stand by to do lists - it is really nice (and a great way to waste time imo) to spend an hour meticulously planning how everything is going to go forward and spend the rest of the day doing perhaps 0.1% of those brilliant tasks.

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    1. Hahah well it is the most important..yep, to do lists are almost counter productive because i spend so much time making them..

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  8. Oh man I spend 2-3 hours on each blog post so yay for a survival guide!! I feel like having books on hand (as distractions) is helpful because I inadvertently end up writing a review and then I can consult the book while I do so. I also used to make a ton of to do lists....but NO MORE. I just jump in and post something randomly...when I feel like it... OKay maybe I'm exaggerating. I'm trying to put together a more coherent + consistent posting schedule again but school started and I'm busy...and so I'm going back to my old "blogging for fun" ways.

    – Rachana @ Spun

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+ thank you so much for commenting, I really appreciate it
+ recheck, I always try to reply [honest!]